The captain of the football team who girls constantly flock around, the social butterfly who’s invited to every party, the friend who has everything figured out for themselves – these confident, exuberant personalities haven’t sprung up suddenly. Ask anyone who’s been through college and they’ll either smirk at the mention of these types of people or boldly go on to tell you a story or two showcasing their own popularity from those times. What I’m trying to get at is that no one is immune to this. We’ve all felt ourselves pale in comparison to other people. And, to be honest, there’s no end to this comparison game. Unless, of course, you choose to take yourself out of the game altogether. Let’s see how you can do that.
Comparison is a thief
The first, most important step is to be aware of the comparisons taking root in your mind. Do you feel like someone looks better? Speaks better?
Is funnier or more popular than you? If you feel these thoughts cropping up, remind yourself that just because someone else is better than you at something, it doesn’t make you any lesser. We have all been gifted with our own sets of talents. You probably have a skill that you’ve mastered that everyone else would be in awe of.
Appreciate what you see
One practice that has helped time and time again is to acknowledge the talents and goodness in other people. Once you begin to look at them with appreciative eyes, they no longer appear as competition. If someone performs well, give them a genuine compliment instead of wishing you could have been in their place. Cultivating an appreciative attitude will help you look at people in a different light. Instead of comparing yourself to them, you will now be able to see that they are blessed with their own gifts and talents, and this doesn’t diminish your gifts and talents.
Instead of focusing so much on what everyone around you is good at, why not spend some time honing your own skills? Do you have an inclination for music? An interest in art or do you like to put pen to paper and come up with exciting stories? Whatever it is that peaks your interest, now is your time to concentrate on it and work on building it up. If you’re not too sure of where your interest lies, don’t be afraid to explore various fields. You never know what might catch your fancy.
Very often, we’re caught in this trap of comparison because we forget who we belong to. We’re so tied up with the cares of this world, the number of likes our photos get or the number of followers our social media accounts have, that we fail to recognize how beautifully and wonderfully each one of us is made in the first place. None of us are a mistake on this earth, we weren’t put trap here to feel any lesser than anyone, in fact, each one of us has a purpose and a reason to exist. But sometimes, ie it takes a while for us to understand and realize our purpose, and that is alright. But till then, let’s not lose ourselves to the worries of this world, but instead, look over and above it all, to the One who created us for a wonderful plan and purpose.
The world is filled with loving, generous people who are more than willing to spend time with you and help you through this. It’s great if you have a good connection with your family, but even if you don’t, there are a number of people who can guide and support you. Remember that it’s not always advisable to turn to people of your own age when it comes to matters such as these because they are most probably in the same situation as you. Reach out to mentors, counselors or even people you are comfortable within your neighbourhood who have more experience than people your age.
You are loved
However much people on the outside try to help you, at the end of the day, it is you who will be able to steer yourself out of these thoughts. Cultivate a positive attitude, remember your worth and be grateful for all that you have been given, even when it may seem like you could do better with so much more. Learn to love yourself, every part of yourself, just the way you were made and you’ll soon realize that playing the comparison game is not what you were created for.