6 Signs Monogamy May Not Be For You


MonogamyJust because monogamy has been the status quo for centuries doesn’t mean it’s the end-all-be-all for your relationships. Rules were meant to be broken, especially heteronormative rules that were designed to exchange women between families as property. Unconventional relationships are becoming less and less taboo, so now is the time to explore what other options there are out there if your traditional monogamous relationship isn’t nurturing your soul.

However, because monogamy has been the standard for so long, it can be challenging to assess whether your interest in polyamory is morbid curiosity or the right lifestyle for you. Here are some signs you may benefit from exploring non-monogamous choices.

Your Partner Is An Extrovert

If your partner is an extrovert, or vice versa, you may find it difficult to match each other’s level of energy. This may become discouraging when you consider this person your soulmate, but you just don’t feel like you’re able to meet every one of their needs all the time. If this is the case, it may make sense to pursue a polyamorous relationship where the more extroverted partner can engage romantically with other partners so that the introverted partner can have their much needed alone time and recharge their social battery.

You Handle Challenging Feelings In A Healthy Way

Suppose you’re not used to being in a relationship where your partner sees other people. In that case, you may encounter feelings of insecurity or jealousy, if only from the fact that you’re entering previously unexplored territory. No matter what we’ve been conditioned from childhood to believe is the “right” way to do things, we have the power to change the course of our lives to best suit what we believe we deserve. If you’re someone who is not afraid to confront uncomfortable emotions, and is open to thinking critically about the roles these negative feelings play in your relationships, then non-monogamy is something you should definitely try.

Are you interested in learning more about monogamy? BetterHelp.com has compiled an excellent set of resources available here.

You Are A Good Communicator

For a relationship to be successful, non-monogamous, or otherwise, communication is of the utmost importance. Being in a relationship with one person is difficult enough, but imagine throwing a few more into the mix. Negative feelings are bound to arise, so it’s imperative that you feel comfortable with communicating openly and honestly about what’s brewing deep down inside, especially because unconventional relationships don’t come with the same set of pre-written rules as traditional relationships, so you have to be open to making it up as you go based on the boundaries and needs of everyone involved.

You Are Not Heterosexual 

It’s crucial to preface that both straight and queer people can have any type of relationship that they want, and queer and straight people alike can be perfectly happy in a long-term monogamous relationship. However, if you’re attracted to multiple gender identities, being in a monogamous relationship can make you feel unfulfilled no matter how devoted you are to your partner. This may be a sign to bring up this concern to your significant other and see if they’re comfortable with you exploring other partners.

You Feel Like You Need Something More Out Of Your Monogamous Relationship 

You may have never been in a non-monogamous relationship before, but if you’ve only ever been in monogamous relationships, that may be enough to know that they’re not fulfilling you in the way you need. Society is changing and redefining what a perfect life looks like, so it’s absolutely normal to start conversations about whether or not your upbringing conditions your desires or if they’re genuinely yours. Accept the curiosity of trying something different if you’ve been longing for something more.

You Like Feeling Deep Connections To More Than One Person

Whether you are gay, straight, an extrovert or not, human beings are social creatures that thrive off social connections, and some of us are just inclined to be more intimate with more than one person, not just sexually. On the other hand, maybe you are looking for something more casual and only want to open yourself up emotionally to your primary partner. No matter what it is, just make sure you’re staying true to yourself.

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