devjokes#1

Q) How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A) None, That’s a Hardware Issue


#2

Pointers in C: “I know a guy who knows a guy… who knows another guy”


#3

Q) How much space will be freed up once Britain leaves the EU?

.

.

A) 1 GB


#4

Q) What did JavaScript call his son?

A) JSON


#5

She : Say those magical words and I am yours

Developer : Pull request created Winking face


#6

Q) Why does C get all the chicks and Java doesn’t?

A) Because C doesn’t treat them like objects!


#7

Q) why was the web developer single on valentine’s day?

. . . .

. . . .

A) because they forgot to commit!


#8

Q) What does one use to manage the state of their previous relationship?

A) Vuex


#9

Q) I am declaring a war

!

!

A) var war;


#10

Q) Why did the Javascript developer go see a therapist? .

.

.

A) Because he didn’t Node how to Express himself.


#11

Q) Why do they call it IE?

A) Because that’s the sound developers make when they have to open it


#12

Q) Why do all Java developers wear glasses?

A) Because they don’t C#


#13

Today I asked a software engineer what a “cookie” is.

Reply (not joking): “an american desert, served with milk” (fact though)


#14

Q) Who is the world’s most famous web developer?

A) Peter Parker.


#15

Q) Why do Front-End Developers eat lunch alone?

A) Because, they don’t know how to join tables.




#16

Once C++ walks into a bar and sees C.

C is drunk, falling on the floor, spitting and swearing.

How classless! – says C++


#17

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.


#18

A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, “Can I join you?”


#19

A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.


#20

Behind every good program, there is a frustrated programmer.


#21

1/3 of Internet bandwidth is used by Netflix.

the rest is used by rm -rf node_modules && npm install


#22

#pisa-tower {
  font-style: italic;
}

#23

Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?” The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”


#24

Debugging: Being the detective in a crime movie where you are also the murderer.


#25

I went on a date. The girl said ” Pass the salt “. I replied ” Pass by value or by reference!”


#26

When the inventor of the USB stick dies they’ll gently lower the coffin, they pull it back up, turn it the other way, then lower it again.


#27

Dev Me: What’s your “better than sex”?

Dev Friend: Write code that compiles without errors and runs without bugs on my first try.

Dev Me: I had an orgasm just reading that.


#28

Dad: So what do you want to do when you grow up?

Kid: Engineering

Dad: Oh great, so you want to become an engineer?

Kid: No, I want 4 more years to decide what I want to do


#29

Conversation between layman and developer

  • layman: Hey! What’s your address
  • developer: 173.168.15.10
  • layman: No man. Your local address
  • developer: 127.0.0.1
  • layman: I mean your physical address
  • developer: 29.01.38.62.31.58

#30

Q) Who is a programmer?

A) A person who fixed a problem that you don’t know you have, in a way you don’t understand.


#31

Will be continued in Part 2 of DevJokes

OR

do {
//blaw blaw
   if (Read= "#30") {
       continue;
   }
//blaw blaw
}
while (Part2);

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