This doesn’t mean go around in formal dress, but shave, comb hair, brush teeth, smell nice, clean clothes. Maintain good hygiene even in trips to the liquor store.
Again, never is a long time, but people with good social skills err on the side of talking quietly, rather than talking loudly.
Never Get Too Excited or Angry
Once you get out of college, the days of war paint at football games and other forms of public hysteria are over. Time to settle down, big guy.
Never Let Yourself Get Walked On
Having good social skills does not mean being a polite patsy. When it’s time to stand up for yourself, do so.
Never Swear in Front of People Not Your Age
This comes from Ernest Hemingway (oddly enough). If you swear in front of children, that’s not so good. If you swear in front of your parents and other older folks, it’s disrespectful. Keep your swearing in your own age group and then be sparing.
Never Be a Party Pooper
Safety is one thing, but if everyone is having fun and that’s just not you at the moment, then walk away and have your down time somewhere else. Don’t stick around and ruin everyone’s good time.
Never Leave Someone Out
People with good social skills know to include everyone in the room and introduce themselves to even the quiet ones pressed against the wall or looking left out.
Never Blurt Out Something Hurtful
Some information just isn’t necessary. “I never liked you,” is a good example. Keep those toady items to yourself or share them with discrete company later — or better, never share them at all.
Never Fight Immaturely
People fight sometimes, but people with good social skills keep disagreements on a mature level. They discuss behaviors that can change. It’s fair to say, “I want you to get here on time,” but it’s not fair to say, “You’re late because you’re stupid and lazy.”
Never Laugh at Others’ Expense
The classic example is someone accidentally drops a tray in the cafeteria. How many people point and guffaw? How many snicker? How many just sit there?
This morning, I got a first hand glimpse of how good social skills make all the difference in the world.
I watched an individual who looked tired and angry (but other than that was attractive) get told that the coffee machine at a local gas station was out of order, then less than five minutes later, a smiling, upbeat gentleman (who was also overweight) asked about the coffee machine and almost immediately the person behind the counter went over, took a look at it, and got it working.
Here are social skills you can practice throughout your day that will open all kinds of little doors for you and eventually lead you to financial rewards as well.
Are You Bad At Networking? Are you one of those people who show up to events and then hover in the corner of the room, avoiding eye contact? Or maybe you’re one of those people who tend to hang out with the people you already know. Don’t Be A Wallflower. Do This Instead
Look people in the eye.
Whenever you have any sort of interaction with anyone, look them directly in the eye and hold it for just a second or two – don’t let it devolve into a stare. If they return the look, you can hold it for a bit longer.
This is a quick way to subtly show the other person that they can have confidence in you.
Smile.
Smile at everyone. Smile when you’re looking someone in the eye.
Always smile at anyone providing any service to you.
Always smile at children and the elderly. If you do it enough, it begins to come smoothly and naturally.
This is a quick way to lift the mood of the others around you, and thus they begin to associate you with the positive mood lift.
Remember as many names as you can.
Every person loves to hear their name said back to them, because it’s a sign to them that they have value to someone else.
Thus, by saying someone’s name to them in a greeting, you’re showing that you remember and value them as an individual.
Try as hard as you can to pick up names quickly and then use them when you greet them upon a second or third interaction.
Offer greetings to anyone and everyone.
A well placed “good morning” or “good afternoon” can often make all the difference in the world. It innately creates a sense of goodwill in the other person.
For example, if you’re starting a new job and can manage to come in the front door, greet the administrative assistant, and say something like, “Good morning, Mike,” you’re already on your way to establishing a healthy and positive relationship with that person.
Ask questions.
If you are like me and often have a hard time starting a conversation, ask a question, even if it’s something as generic as “What’s new?”
This allows them to feel welcomed into a conversation with you, breaking down any potential barriers.
If you can remember a fact or two about the person, this is almost always good fodder for a conversation opener: there’s one person in my office who enjoys the television series Lost, so I often use it as a conversation opener with him by saying,
“Did you catch Lost the other night?” This makes people feel comfortable in conversation.
If you don’t know what to say, ask another question.
You can usually build from anything that has previously been said with another question.
This enables the other person to continue talking, and for most people an invitation to talk and an open ear means that they are being welcomed.
That doesn’t mean you should just sit and ask questions, but that if you are completely stuck, ask another question.
Talk about your own mistakes.
When conversing with someone regularly, I find it is always useful to eventually admit to smaller mistakes of my own.
Mistakes make you appear human, and thus the thing you relate about yourself should regularly include imperfections.
If the other person sees you as human and having small faults, you will seem more real and thus they’re more willing to accept you and include you. Keep the mistakes small and real, though; don’t suddenly say something like “Once, I ran the lawnmower over the cat.”
Take an interest in what is important to them.
If the conversation starts to go down a path that you know nothing about, don’t withdraw.
Instead, admit you know little about it and ask them to explain.
Most people eat this up because not only do they get to talk about something familiar, but they get to relate from a position of superior knowledge, which is something many people enjoy.
Even if the topic is boring to you, pay attention.
Look at the person, smile, and nod. What I do is try to formulate connections to things that do interest e, like if I hear a woman go on and on about her purse,
I try to make connections to personal finance and ask something like, “Where did you buy that?” and so on. This makes it appear as though I’m interested in what she’s interested in, but I’m also attempting to leverage my own interests.
Keep clean.
I can’t stress this enough: cleanliness is one of the biggest keys to successful social encounters. It makes you appear in a more positive fashion to everyone around you.
All they know is how you make them feel in the first few seconds of meeting them. And if you don’t make them feel good, they’re probably already thinking about how to gracefully and quickly move on. Tough, but true.
If your social skills aren’t where you want them to be, it can be tough to live a truly Rich Life.
That’s why in this Ultimate Guide, I’m going to show you how to quickly and easily improve your social skills. You’ll learn how to use the power of body language and charisma to create lasting connections with people.
The next time you’re out at a bar, a wedding, or an event, you’ll be able to confidently approach new people and always know exactly what to say.
No more being forgettable. No more feeling like a wallflower. And definitely no more awkwardness.
